“ I don’t think I want to be married anymore.”
Hearing those words in January of 2013, felt like the grand finale of my failures and traumas.
The pain spread through me... to my friends... to my family.. even my clients & students.
I still see glimpses of it in their hearts at times.. as they've watch me heal over the years.
As I sit down to write to you today…
“Watch the dust settle” was the message I felt coming through me.
I began my initial sentences with..
.. For the last 6 years…
But then almost immediately.. I thought no..
So, I began again…
...For the last 10 years…
Again almost immediately I shook my head. It’s been much longer.
I just froze for a few minutes.
I almost gave up on this whole blog.
This feeling of choking on dust, (and not being able see clearly) has felt like a continuous battle.
Sometimes it feels shitty to remember the past.
But then I realized that no.. the message is the message..
So I settled in and started typing.. And now here we are.
I used to think that the chaos of life would some day pass.
I remember praying to God for peace and happiness and safety.
I journaled relentlessly about love and all my hopes for life as an adult.
As I entered my 20’s (and a life made up of my own choices), I rejoiced in the freedom to go for my dreams with no restraints.
It feels like this is when shame and fear settled in... and wouldn’t leave.
Each “failure” felt deeply personal.
Each trauma felt like it was due to defects in my ability to make wise choices.
I lived in constant state of feeling “defective”.
Is this where you are?
Is this how you feel?
If so, you are the reason I wrote today.. (even though it felt like I had nothing new to share).
I know that you are there.
I know that you can hear me.
I know you want to come out of this cloud that is choking the life out of you.
“In the Face of Fear” is the new “Loving Her Live” series, that begins January 2nd to 4th.
As we move into the new year, I’m preparing set out on new adventures in speaking and connecting with women who are on the journey of restoration of body, mind, and soul.
It has been the dream since as long as I can remember… maybe 12 or 13 would have been the first glimpses of it.
I want you to come too.
You can build a new identity based on the dreams you have inside of you.
You can move forward in healing and restoration of your body, mind and soul.
Step towards your life in the face of your fears... and watch the dust settle.
The healing of your body, mind, and soul is your responsibility now… but you are not alone.
Join my community and enter in the FREE Loving Her LIVE Facebook group now!
We begin again on January 2 - 4
Are you looking for a healthy lifestyle change?
>>Apply for online women’s health coaching!
>>> Try my Gentle Strength and Stretch program for free for 7 days :)