Stop Talking.

Making playlists at my "office" ;)

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This September, I committed to creating over 200 YouTube exercise videos for Mai Trainer...by the end of this year.

I began first using pictures that I had taken in 2014, and have used for the strength training program pdf’s in MaiTrainer 365 Free. I turned them into videos and added music.

By the end, I had 154 videos of single exercises...all of my favorites that I use with clients every week.

Since publishing the videos with my old pictures, I decided to reach my 200 by creating exercise circuits of my favorite routines.  

My one rule for all of my videos for the rest of this year??

I am not going to speak... in any of them.

I’ve committed to stop talking.

I’ve committed to just letting my following watch me, as I publish my work to social media.

I also committed to relaunching my 2014 Mai Trainer blogs about health and fitness...instead of creating new ones.

I’ve realized one of my favorite parts of this summer, (as I removed myself from everyone at lunchtime,  and went off on my own)… was that I didn’t have to speak to anyone.

As the weeks of private lunches continued, I began to realize that I never seem to shut up.
Many of you that know me personally, can attest to my constant high energy and never ending mouth(and cackling, loud, and often obnoxious laugh).

But I don’t even like talking that much.

Why am I doing it?

Why don’t I just stop talking?

In the past it was because I was afraid of the silence… but I’ve discovered now also, it is also my own insecurities.

If I say something… then I’m in control.

If I remain quiet… then I give others the chance to step into the space.  I give others control of the floor.

Am I the only one that finds that a scary place to be?

I doubt it.
​

As I have returned to olympic weightlifting (after a year of letting my body rest) I have discovered my desire to push others into high intensity exercise has disappeared.

Instead, I have noticed myself really listening to what they are saying, before I say a word about what to do for exercise. I then ask a few probing questions about their life.

I ask them if they are sleeping.
I ask them if they are eating 3 meals a day.
I ask them if they are spending any time on de-stressing activities.

And then I stop talking and listen.

Next, I ask if they already have an idea of type of activity they would like to do, and an idea of what kind of schedule they think might work (realistically).

Only after they have given me their own plan and preferences… do I offer any advice on their program's design.

One of my favorite clients in 2007, used to scold me for talking to her too much (about the details of her program).

If started giving her exercise/nutrition facts during our session, (in her strong British accent), she would say, 

“I don’t care Maile... I don’t care... 
All I hear when you talk is blah..blah..blah..blah!
I don’t care Maile.”

I still remember her words, because they were so puzzling to me. Why was she with me, if she didn’t want the information?

Now...ten years later, I am just now getting it.

She loved me and my programs.

​But, she wanted me to stop talking...and just be with her.

​What would happen if you just shut your mouth,  the next time you were with someone?

I think you will find (as I have),  that you grow closer to that person.  

You allow them to see you.

You allow them to move towards you.

You allow them to be themselves...instead of going along with your dominant energy.

You allow yourself to hear them… to see them… to connect with them where they are.

​So let’s stop talking… at least sometimes ;)

Much love to you.

I’ll be back soon.